(Not Trump, just Tim… otherwise it would be a tweet)
Remember Hudsons? (That was a department store on Woodward for you young’uns). Anybody remember what they called the basement? Email me at email@example.com if you know…
I grew up with 8 brothers and sisters and hand-me-downs. On rare occasions, we got something new from the basement at Hudsons. They started a trend… “Bargain Basement,” “Last Call,” “Last Act,” “the Rack” and so on. Basically, it’s where they sold their returns, open box stuff, floor models and excess inventory that was purchased by some buyer who probably got fired.
I probably should be fired too, except I can’t be … I’m the owner.
So, I figure if the basement idea worked for the big boys, then it might work for me. Basements can conjure up images of cold, damp, moldy rooms where you need to wear a mask or protective clothing to search for treasures. We have a classy basement suitable to a proper Steinway store. Just room after room, row after row of pianos. I will accept responsibility for the error of my ways and pay the price by offering huge discounts on many of these pianos.
Call it what you want: second hand, previously owned, gently used, hand-me-downs, not new, like new… who cares. These rooms represent a menagerie (cool word) of beautiful pianos at prices that are a fraction of what you would expect to pay for new. Like most Steinway stores, we’re not always the first place people buy their pianos (even though we should be), but we’re almost always the last. It seems like everyone who buys a piano from Steinway Piano Gallery has a trade, and I have no room for any more. So I need to sell them at a big sale, and when I say big, I mean really big. Lots of major brands in many cabinet styles. Send me an email and I will send you a list.
The dictionary attributes this saying to a “feckless Irishman.” My family is Irish (9 kids – duh) so when you think that Formal French is all the rage, you buy 6 of them. But you only see customers who want blonde Mid-Century Modern. Go figure. I’m Irish. Get the idea? Murphy’s Law stuff. Need a Formal French?
These are the best ones. The USDA prime filet mignon of pianos. No Chuck steak here. Some may have seen a little action on the concert stage or were provided as a courtesy to a visiting concert artist. You may know it was slightly used, but your neighbors never will. They don’t need to know what a good deal you got. Just let them be quietly irritated by your ostentatious display of wealth. Let them wallow in envy. It will be our secret.
Once a year, I close the store for SAT testing. Two hundred young pianists come to have their musical aptitude tested and their performances judged. Each of the pianos used are hand-picked. After all, it’s our reputation on the line. The piano teachers judging these competitions have been known to take out their frustrations on a piano that is less than perfect (baseball bats, gasoline and matches, pocket knives, etc, etc). The ones that survive the cut are offered with less than perfect cabinetry but at remarkable savings. This is your chance to feel altruistic as your purchase ensures the continued support of these programs.
OK. I’ve been in the acoustic piano business for 52 years. Ask me anything you want. But pianos that plug in a wall mystify me. I thought “Limitless Polyphony” meant you could have as many wives as you want and “Bluetooth” is what happened when you ate blueberries. All I know is that Roland calls the sound of these pianos superNATURAL. And it is just that. Extra savings if you buy one out of the box, unless you really want to spend extra for the cardboard. If you want a demonstration of any one of these, look for someone younger than me.
We have an “omnium-gatherum” of used Rodgers and Allen organs that you can “steal.” Actually now that I think about it, that is probably not a very good choice of words since the 8th commandment says not to steal. So I will ask you to pay something so that you can walk away guilt-free and pure of heart.
This is when you come home from a rough day at work or managing a house full of kids. At days end, you pour yourself a glass of wine or a nice martini, sit down (maybe snuggle) and be entertained by the world’s greatest pianists. The wind goes out of your sails. These reproducing pianos will forever change the way you listen to music. Monthly payments are about the same as a psychiatrist. Come in and we will show you how wine and music can work together in perfect harmony.
Don’t even try it. We’re trying to get rid of this stuff, not add to the inventory. I may make some exceptions (1953 Thunderbird, a 1950’s Gibson Les Paul or a mint Harley
Davidson Roadster). Other items may be considered. Bring a picture of it. Please, no children or pets accepted in trade.
We’ll take most credit cards, checks that won’t bounce, green folding money, rolls of quarters, casino chips, or we can finance most anything as long as you pay your bills on time, have a job and can still fog a mirror.
One last note… SSHHHHHHH!!!! The Big Brass at the STEI$%&@ Corporate gets all fuss-budgety and sensitive about their world-class name being dragged through the mud indiscriminately in sale flyers, which is why you haven't seen their name in this announcement. You can’t really blame them. They have to protect their image.
So, in deference to our good standing in the community and our affiliation with the finest piano in the world, I will personally not use any tacky unprofessional slogans to describe this sale. We will simply call it “The Basement Sale.”
And for those of you who persevered through this entire diatribe (another cool word), you can earn some free “STUFF” too.
Find these 8 items, and you’ll get $25 off the sale price for every item you find. Or, find all 8 items and receive a free piano delivery with your purchase (up to $299 value) and a one year couple’s membership to the Steinway Society ($60 value), where you will receive discounts on the phenomenal concerts we do ever year.
Be sure to bring us your answers! Caution: if you are over 50, this game may cause distress and require the consumption of wine. If you don’t drink, ask your 13-year-old to find the items. They love making us feel stupid.
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